I'm Sorry I Love You
by TrickyFrog
Summary: Oz asks Gil to quit being so mean to Alice only to find Gil's real reason as to why he hates her so. Pertaining to Oz, not his past. One-shot. Please R & R!


Oz and Gil fluff. God forgive me, I haven't posted anything here in six years. If I should not be writing ff, please give me a sign. 3 Jun Mizuochi owns them, not me.

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"You wanted to talk to me about something, Oz?" Gil poked his head through the large door to Oz's temporary bedroom at the Rainsworth Estate. Gilbert was incredibly nervous, but he didn't want to show it. He had no idea what Oz wanted to talk to him about, and with the way Oz had said it, "_Can we talk later today in my bedroom_?" was so curious. Why did they need to speak secretly? And why in Oz's bedroom? Of course, it could have been that this was simply the first private place Oz had thought of but Gilbert couldn't help but let all of this get to him. He was certain he had done something wrong, though he wasn't entirely sure what. Gilbert had quite the guilty conscience.

Oz was sitting on his bed, fiddling with a journal or book of some sort. He clapped it closed and hopped off of the bed, the book being left on the night stand. "Yeah, come in."

Oz was smiling. That was a good sign. His voice held its normal cheery tone and he altogether showed no signs of being upset. Measuring this up, Raven walked into the room, shutting the door behind him, but staying a safe distance away from Oz. The only chair in the room was slid underneath a desk leaving it unavailable for Gilbert to comfortably sneak over to. The only other furniture in the room was the bed, a night stand, and a dresser.

When Gilbert didn't say anything, Oz went ahead, noticing that his servant was acting a little uncomfortable, "I didn't ask you to come here to scold you, you know?" He smiled brightly to back up his statement.

Gilbert felt a rush of relief and he nodded, feeling much better.

"It's just that, well, the way you treated Alice earlier-" Gil's mind cut off the rest of the sentence, unable to hear it through the projected hate he held for the rabbit. It was growing more and more everyday, so much that it frightened him. Oz had no idea the depth of his feelings towards the chain that posed as a human, only Vincent did. Gil wanted to feel ashamed. Gil wanted to treat her well, if only for his Master, but he couldn't, his hate was too much, and things were only becoming worse and worse. His bangs covered his eyes as his thoughts began to run wild. Images of Oz being pulled into the Abyss haunted him, but were always remedied with images of his hands stained with the chain's blood.

"Gil, are you listening?" Oz was right next to him, looking up at him, a hint of annoyance, but mostly worry.

"Ye-yeah, I'm sorry." Gil blushed as he looked down into Oz's face. "I-I can't help it . . ." The black bird silenced his song, it was too racked with emotion to let loose now.

Oz didn't appreciate the answer. He didn't understand what was so hard about being nice to someone, especially if the request was coming from him, "I'm not asking much, Gil. Can't you at least be polite to Alice? Nice? Something?" Raven felt Oz's hand on his wrist, holding it to get his attention, "You really hurt her feelings, you know that?"

Those eyes, those beautiful and earnest eyes of the one he loved most were looking at him like _that_. Gil pulled away, turning his back on those eyes, knowing that if he stayed there, captured by them, then he would surely slip into song. He dared not speak.

Oz was hurt by Gil's actions. This wasn't right. Almost nothing came between them, and having this, this person that Oz cared about so much, coming between them was wrong. "Gil, you aren't being fair."

Gilbert noted the childish expression, the naivety of the word "_fair_". Oz was well beyond his years, true, but he was still a child. _Wasn't he?_

Raven turned around to face him, the song coming out quick and bittersweet, "What do you mean _fair_, Oz? How can you say that? Is it _fair_ that I went through ten years of _hell_ for _you_, to get _you_ back, when all she had to do was steal a _kiss_ from you to escape the Abyss? Is it_ fair_ that you're holding onto her while she is slowly _killing you_, as every minute goes by, while I want nothing more than to keep you_ alive_ and protect you? Is it _fair_ that you treat a _monster _like her, someone who isn't even human, better than you treat _me_?! Is it _fair _that you _favor her to me, after all we've been through, and after all I've done for you, when she has done nothing but hurt you and will only continue to hurt you until finally you're dead_?!"

Oz was shocked.

Raven made for the door, opening it quickly, about to slip out when a single word stopped him.

"Wait."

Raven froze. He didn't want to do this now. He didn't want to face him.

"Come back." The man mentally cursed as he walked backwards out of the doorway back into the bedroom and closed it in front of him, not daring to turn around.

"Gil, look at me." More cursing and the servant turned around, keeping his head lowered. He was a coward of a man. He was blushing, but whether out of anger or embarrassment, Oz wasn't sure.

Oz said nothing for a moment, comfortable that Gilbert wasn't going to run away again. He went over the words again in his head until he recognized the issue, "Gil . . . you're jealous of _Alice_?"

Raven knew it was more than that, but said nothing as though his voice would come out raspy from all of the chirping. He didn't trust his words.

"How can you be _jealous_ of Alice?!" Oz didn't understand everything. _He couldn't_. He didn't have all of the facts straight. Nothing had ever come between them like this before. Nothing. Gil had never shown jealous feelings like this, spiteful feelings like this, even towards Oz's father, who had treated them so harshly, Gil had always been supportive and even optimistic, never this dark, never this _lost_.

"You're wrong." The two words shot Gil in the heart, causing him to slowly sink to the floor against the door in a pathetic display, invisible blood smearing the elegance of the bedroom door.

Oz's nature as the Master began to surface and he walked over to Gil, who was now beneath him rather than towering over him. He reached a hand down to Gil's left cheek and moved his head up to see him, the man's bangs falling out of his eyes, "Since when did you begin questioning your value to me?"

Gil's eyes slowly drifted away, studying absently the space where the floor met with the dresser, noticing the indentation of the carpet. Oz wasn't sure how to handle this. There was a tightening around his heart that only seemed to squeeze harder as Gil's eyes moved away. It hurt. It _physically _hurt.

"You shouldn't worry about things like that. _No one can touch us, Gil_." The boy smiled lightly through the pain.

Those words were beautiful to Gil's ears; again, his master had given him life anew. Whenever Gil died, it was for his master, and whenever he was born again, it was for him as well. He looked up at Oz who somehow looked far more beautiful to him in that moment, his golden orbs looking small in his large bewildered eyes.

Oz wondered if he was saying the wrong thing. The pain in his heart was increasing, and with that pain, with the very real physical pain, thoughts began to cross his mind, flashing by like shooting stars across his sky dark with ignorance. Oz caught one and before the beautiful ball of light could be registered or understood, he acted on it, kissing Gil tenderly on the forehead, far, far too tender with emotion than to be a simple gift of comfort from a master to his servant. When he came back and realized his action, he blushed heavily while he tried to convince himself it wasn't more than a small act of kindness, desperately fighting the truth.

It was Gil's turn to be shocked. No longer was it the hand on his cheek or the words or even the kiss, it was what he _felt_ in that kiss. Gil wanted to cry. He wanted to take Oz in his wings and fly him away somewhere where they could never be found to share in kisses like that, to share in that emotion without anyone having to know or bother them, or come between them. Gil recognized the emotion in that kiss because it was equal to the one he himself had already come to terms with long ago, but from Oz's expression, he knew that his master was experiencing something that was unfamiliar even to himself.

Noticing the conflict, Gil responded with an embrace that reflected Oz's emotions for him back to him in order to settle Oz's inner struggle. Raven pulled Oz into him, a blush coloring his face as he did so.

"I'm sorry."

Gil apologized for feeling the way he did, for confusing Oz, for hurting him, even for hurting Alice who meant so much to his master.

Oz blushed and said nothing, the grip on his heart becoming tighter, he gasped, so soft, but as it fell into Raven's ear Raven could only respond by holding him closer, even tighter.

"I-I love you, Oz. I'm so sorry. _I'm sorry I love you_. I know that I shouldn't. I know that I shouldn't care for you, not like this, but I do. You . . . are my most important person. Nothing has and nothing ever will come before you." Raven had said it. There. That was it. Nothing left to say.

Oz held onto Raven and grabbed at another passing shooting star._ If only ten years had not come between us._ It was another idea that shocked him. It wasn't the time they missed out on, or the fact that they had experienced different things. No, this time, and for the first time, Oz was upset with his _body_. His body. It made no sense. Why, at a time like this, was he upset that he was still so young in comparison to Gil, still so small?

The boy pulled away for only a second, before he leaned in again, one hand on Gil's shoulder, and the other on Gil's chest, and kissed him on the mouth. Oz never thought he could blush this much, that he could survive all of this blood rushing to his head. The meteor shower heightened in his midnight sky, some powerful thoughts hitting the surface of his mind, leaving craters. _I shouldn't be doing this. I'm wrong. This is wrong. Why, why am I kissing Gil, why?_

Gil couldn't fight something he had always wanted and continued to play out the scene he had so many times lived through in the safety of his mind. He returned the kiss, slipping his tongue into Oz's mouth, guilt grabbing him to pull back every step of the way.

Oz couldn't do this. He couldn't. _All of this . . . ._ He pulled away and looked into Gil's eyes, almost rendered speechless from the love that shone through them, "Gil, I-I mean that . . . I . . . I can't do _this_ Gil, but-" finally Oz found his words, "We share something no one else can touch, Gil. I do care about Alice, a lot, but the way I feel for you is different." Oz continued to think, knowing the next few words were vital to his servant's understanding, "When I think of the love I have for Alice, there is doubt. I'm scared. When I think of you, Gil, all I can believe in is '_forever_'."

Tears slipped from the man's eyes, overwhelmed with the honesty and care in Oz's voice. He didn't care that it was different for him. He didn't care that he still held doubt when he thought of Oz, where-as Oz was beyond that. He didn't care that Oz had even admitted to actually loving Alice. He didn't care that it wasn't the same, like he had hoped for in all of the years of his life that mattered. All he cared about was that Oz would never stop loving him, no matter what sins he committed even his sin of loving Oz _completely_.

"No one . . . no one can touch us Oz?" Gil's need to hear those words a final time was more valuable to him than any other words he could hear coming from Oz other than those three that-

"_I love you, Gil_, and no one . . . _no one can ever touch us_." They shared a smile as weight Raven had been carrying for well over ten years was lifted, and the hand that had been squeezing at Oz's heart released it.

The two held each other closely, losing time, but gaining everything else.


End file.
